“To be so bent on Marriage – to pursue a man merely for the sake of situation – is a sort of thing that shocks me; I cannot understand it. Poverty is a great Evil, but to a woman of Education and feeling it ought not, it cannot be the greatest. I would rather be a teacher at a school (and I can think of nothing worse) than marry a man I did not like.” – Jane Austen [1]
On 2 December 1802, Jane Austen received her only known proposal of marriage.
During 1802 Jane and her sister, Cassandra, were living in Bath. Late in the year they went on a visit to stay with their good friends, Alethea and Catherine Bigg at Manydown Park, not far from Basingstoke. Alethea and Catherine’s younger brother, Harris Bigg-Wither, had recently finished his education at Oxford and was also at home at that time.
The visit that had started well, ended badly. In the morning of 3 December, Jane and Cassandra left for Steventon in the Bigg-Wither carriage. Harris, 21 years old at the time, had proposed to Jane (almost 27) the previous evening and she accepted him. But overnight she had changed her mind.
Harris was a large, plain-looking man who spoke little, stuttered when he did and was almost completely tactless – but he was heir to extensive family estates. Jane was still unpublished and had no source of independent income, depending on her brothers. She had known Harris since both were young, and the marriage offered many practical advantages. But by the next morning, Jane realised she had made a mistake and withdrew her acceptance.
No letters or diaries survive to describe how Jane felt about this incident, but two years later, Harris went on to marry Anne Howe Frith and the two had 10 children together. He lived to the age of 51, selling the Manydown estate and a neighbouring property in 1871 to pay debts.
Jane and Cassandra did keep in touch with the Bigg sisters, and it seems that there were no hard feelings.
Selected links for relevant websites, books, movies, videos, and more. Some of these links lead to protected content on this website, learn more about that here.
Susannah Fullerton: Lots of Jane Austen links
Susannah Fullerton: Jane Austen is born
Susannah Fullerton: Jane Austen dies
Susannah Fullerton: Jane & I, A Tale of Austen Addiction
Susannah Fullerton: Jane Austen and Crime
Susannah Fullerton: Happily Ever After: Celebrating Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’
Susannah Fullerton: A Dance with Jane Austen: How a Novelist and her Characters went to the Ball
The Jane Austen Society of Australia
Harris Bigg-Wither’s Marriage Proposal – An Ongoing Mystery?